Invisible Barrier of Study 　 Feb.14th, 2001

000104A Itakura Toshinori

I am not interested in study now. Studying spirits do not spring up within my mind. I think this term was the worst one. I have already lost some credits. It might be a slump. I regret this situation. It was hardly possible it. Maybe I am facing invisible barrier of study.

I have wanted to study environmental problems originally. I entered this university because I wanted to study the base of knowledge about the world. I thought if I understood many things of the world, I could find the causes of environmental problems. I wanted to study with a wide point of view in a department of international studies rather than in a department of environmental studies. However, there are a few students who want to study environmental problems in our department, I think, so I feel lonely a little.

I have many problems and barriers. The first, I cannot understand math. I want to understand economics, but I cannot understand economical math. I had a hard time of math when I was high school student. An economical math is very difficult. It is quite impossible for me to understand it unfortunately.

The second, I am weak in a morning. I hardly get up early. I could not be in time for morning classes many times so I lost some credits because of it. In addition, I like sleeping the best. I am always sleepy. I sleep too long every day. I must get over it.

The third, I am not interested in classes. When I entered the university, I felt classes were interesting, but I cannot be interested in classes in these days. I have a feeling I take classes to get credits. I am afraid I do not know the reason.

The fourth, I have vague anxieties about the future. Is it good for me to learn environmental studies? How will I choose my job? Many things trouble me. I have run on a decided rail until now, but I have to decide every things. I feel very uneasy.

I consider I have lack of studies. I have to study more. I do not study than my high school days. I enter this university to study many things. I ought to have energy.

There are many problems, but I believe the most important thing is positive mind. Probably I am reconsidering myself now. I would like to get rid of my pent-up feelings and keen on study with strong will again. My present aim is reading many books and getting high score at TOEIC.